European English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby 
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
 than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
 English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this 
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
 dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and 
keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik 
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be 
replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be 
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
 always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

 Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
 languag is disgrasful and it should go away.



By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as 
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".



During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords 
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

 Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu 
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

 Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
in ze forst plas.

 Hop zis mad you smil.